I find it strange how some people need to be in a room full of others whose every spec of attention if placed on them. I find it even stranger that that's when I feel most alone. I need just one person to stop me from feeling alone. One person who I know genuinely cares about me. Actually, I don't even need that. I just need words, words of my own, words of others, words written or words spoken. A picture or a video. Anything that conveys a memory or a meaning, a feeling or builds a foundation. Words are after all the foundation of life.
I'm doing some work experience at a local paper at the moment. I'm in a newsroom and all around me I can hear people talking about their latest piece, phones ringing, fingers typing and all of it forms words. Words that help us communicate, words that give us knowledge. We were given an amazing gift when we were given words. And, for this gift we should be thankful and we should give in return while using it wisely. We should use our words to spread goodness and happiness and to spread the truth as we know it.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Freedom Scares me....
I have finally finished my exams! Now there is nothing to worry about until the day those results come out and I discover what is on offer for the next stage of my life.
Most people would relish the fact they could lay in for hours on end without having to spend hours at a time working to succeed. But, and I will admit, I am a strange teenager at that. I love knowing that my hard work is getting me somewhere in life. At the moment, I have no work to do and therefore I feel like life is at a stand still... and yes it probably is, but the next few years is the fastest it will ever go, and after that my childhood will be completely over, sad; isn't it?
I just wish things didn't have to slow down so much before they become so fast, the contrast is gonna be quite hard-hitting I'm guessing.
Most people would relish the fact they could lay in for hours on end without having to spend hours at a time working to succeed. But, and I will admit, I am a strange teenager at that. I love knowing that my hard work is getting me somewhere in life. At the moment, I have no work to do and therefore I feel like life is at a stand still... and yes it probably is, but the next few years is the fastest it will ever go, and after that my childhood will be completely over, sad; isn't it?
I just wish things didn't have to slow down so much before they become so fast, the contrast is gonna be quite hard-hitting I'm guessing.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Possibly Just Wasted An Hour And A Half Of My Life- And Yeah, Get Over It
The acting was great, the story line, fine, but the directing maybe not so much. I just saw 'Drag Me To Hell', and although it was a fun day out with one of my best friends (a lot of girly screaming and hiding being our hands in the back row) I was rather disappointed. In my view, a scary film must have a longer lasting effect of fear for longer than just while you're in the cinema. I don't like the feeling of being scared- it doesn't give me a particular thrill- but it is the sign showing you've just watched a good movie. With this film, although it had quite a few jumpy moments, towards the end the scary tactics just became laughable. I mean, seriously, a fake possessed goat calling a pretty young lady a 'whore', its a big no no for the horror genre.
Okay, it wasn't the best of films, but I try to look at the bright side and say I enjoyed the time I got to spend with my friend. So, I wont look at the bad side and I wont regret what I have done today. I just wont do it again.
Okay, it wasn't the best of films, but I try to look at the bright side and say I enjoyed the time I got to spend with my friend. So, I wont look at the bad side and I wont regret what I have done today. I just wont do it again.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Lessons To Learn
Life is a hard thing... It's just a constant learning curve- but that's what makes it interesting. I never feel fulfilled at the end of a day unless I know I have learnt something new.
I learnt today that it's okay to have been wrong in the past. Someone told me that everyone makes mistakes and everyone gives in sometimes, I knew that already, but he made it make sense. He told me I should admit my wrongs- tell someone about my mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a great but dangerous thing. It's great because when you can forgive, you will never be bitter at heart, and when you are forgiven yourself, you should be able to learn from your faults and appreciate how life is teaching you something new. As Alexander Pope said 'To err is human, to forgive, divine'.
But, the danger lies when people take advantage of constant forgiveness, a lesson can only be learnt when people accept what they have done as being wrong and know not to repeat their actions.
I have learnt from my mistakes, and I am thankful that I can be allowed to live the rest of my life without the regret of them mistakes hanging over me.
I find it very hard to admit when I'm wrong, and I find it even harder to say I'm sorry. I used to see it as a sign of weakness. Things had happened to me that led me to believe that certain actions would lead to me getting hurt. I was wrong there too. Although, that part of my history may always be with me to some extent, I am now going to try my hardest to live my life that admitting fault is not wrong nor is it a weakness. In fact, admitting fault is admitting truth- and nothing will ever make you stronger than knowing the truth.
I learnt today that it's okay to have been wrong in the past. Someone told me that everyone makes mistakes and everyone gives in sometimes, I knew that already, but he made it make sense. He told me I should admit my wrongs- tell someone about my mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a great but dangerous thing. It's great because when you can forgive, you will never be bitter at heart, and when you are forgiven yourself, you should be able to learn from your faults and appreciate how life is teaching you something new. As Alexander Pope said 'To err is human, to forgive, divine'.
But, the danger lies when people take advantage of constant forgiveness, a lesson can only be learnt when people accept what they have done as being wrong and know not to repeat their actions.
I have learnt from my mistakes, and I am thankful that I can be allowed to live the rest of my life without the regret of them mistakes hanging over me.
I find it very hard to admit when I'm wrong, and I find it even harder to say I'm sorry. I used to see it as a sign of weakness. Things had happened to me that led me to believe that certain actions would lead to me getting hurt. I was wrong there too. Although, that part of my history may always be with me to some extent, I am now going to try my hardest to live my life that admitting fault is not wrong nor is it a weakness. In fact, admitting fault is admitting truth- and nothing will ever make you stronger than knowing the truth.
Can Not Be Normal
It's driving me crazy! -Yes I am about to go on a rant...
I feel myself bubbling with rage every time I think of peoples priorities nowadays. I know where I want to go in life- and I'm doing to make damn sure I get there no matter how hard I have to work. I can't understand why I seem to surround myself with people that just don't care. I love my friends, I really do, but we're getting to an age where, okay we can legally drink (well not quite for me, but still) but, we really need to be focusing on our future if we ever want to make something of ourselves. You can't go through life without working, it's so simple. I hate that I can see people I love throwing their lives away for the fun of the moment but it does them no favours in the long term of life.
I'm lucky I have my boyfriend at the moment. We haven't been together long but he's had such an impact on my life and it's all for the better. He helps me see that I may not be normal but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
I hate that people look down on me for my beliefs and just for being the way I am in general. Yes, I am a Christian- but that doesn't mean I'm some crazy obsessive person who tries to force my views on other people. So why am I judged for something I keep personal to myself. No, I don't like drinking. That's not to say I've never done it, but I'd rather not get so out of my face I end up making a fool of myself and end up looking like an idiot all over face book. I'd rather someone know me as me rather than doing something outrageous at a party. I've made mistakes and, although I find it hard, I can admit that. But, the important thing is I learn from them and I like to think I'm making myself a better person after everyone. I can't stand it when people say they will change and they will make things better when they just don't follow through. I may just give up.
What's more important in your life? Looking after yourself because you know you can do well if you work hard, or keep fighting for what may be a lost cause?
Teenagers are presented in such a bad image these days. I'd much rather be someone who proves people wrong with this stereotype than someone who enforces it. It such basic logic, but if I'm the only one who can see it- does that make me the one in the wrong?
I feel myself bubbling with rage every time I think of peoples priorities nowadays. I know where I want to go in life- and I'm doing to make damn sure I get there no matter how hard I have to work. I can't understand why I seem to surround myself with people that just don't care. I love my friends, I really do, but we're getting to an age where, okay we can legally drink (well not quite for me, but still) but, we really need to be focusing on our future if we ever want to make something of ourselves. You can't go through life without working, it's so simple. I hate that I can see people I love throwing their lives away for the fun of the moment but it does them no favours in the long term of life.
I'm lucky I have my boyfriend at the moment. We haven't been together long but he's had such an impact on my life and it's all for the better. He helps me see that I may not be normal but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
I hate that people look down on me for my beliefs and just for being the way I am in general. Yes, I am a Christian- but that doesn't mean I'm some crazy obsessive person who tries to force my views on other people. So why am I judged for something I keep personal to myself. No, I don't like drinking. That's not to say I've never done it, but I'd rather not get so out of my face I end up making a fool of myself and end up looking like an idiot all over face book. I'd rather someone know me as me rather than doing something outrageous at a party. I've made mistakes and, although I find it hard, I can admit that. But, the important thing is I learn from them and I like to think I'm making myself a better person after everyone. I can't stand it when people say they will change and they will make things better when they just don't follow through. I may just give up.
What's more important in your life? Looking after yourself because you know you can do well if you work hard, or keep fighting for what may be a lost cause?
Teenagers are presented in such a bad image these days. I'd much rather be someone who proves people wrong with this stereotype than someone who enforces it. It such basic logic, but if I'm the only one who can see it- does that make me the one in the wrong?
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Is It All Down Hill From Here?
Life is a strange thing. It's full of change and unexpected surprises, and I think it's pretty safe to say they are not always good ones. I suppose it's just part of growing up, having to learn to deal with all of these changes and constantly being able to adapt yourself and tolerate everything that goes around you... I think I'm finding that a bit hard at the moment. It's a shame that you have life so easy as a kid and you can't even appreciate it becuase you don't have to worry about all the things that affect you when you go into the real world. Things just seem to get worse as you get older. Are things all down hill from here?
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Freedom
I passed my driving test today :)
It's strange how that even without the car, somehow, knowing that you've been given the responsibility of a license makes you feel so free. I looked in the mirror when I got home and felt grown up... it's silly, I know. But, it's a good thing, I'm going to have to grow up very quickly over the next few months.
Freedom. Growing up. Both I suppose are rather relevant, they all play a big part in everyone's life. People are always growing up, but they can never be truly free. If you think about it, everyone will always be bound by some form of constraint- whether that's for an internal or external reason is besides the point.
The UK is meant to be a liberal democracy...what a load- nowadays we can't do anything without being watched, CCTV, ID tags, DNA databases. The government will say it's for our own protection, and to some extent I can agree with that, but is the sacrifice worth it? Day in , day out, we're being watched by someone, the only place we can know we're safe is in our own homes, and how long will that guarantee last? I'm glad that the government say they have out safety at heart, but there's something inside of me which doubts their intentions, for all we know they could always have a bigger plan. Then, I think- isn't it sad that the world and the people in it have become so immoral that we need to put all of these intrusions in place just so we can walk down the street feeling secure in the fact that if we do get attacked, there would probably- but still not definitely- be justice. What happened to the good old days?
It's strange how that even without the car, somehow, knowing that you've been given the responsibility of a license makes you feel so free. I looked in the mirror when I got home and felt grown up... it's silly, I know. But, it's a good thing, I'm going to have to grow up very quickly over the next few months.
Freedom. Growing up. Both I suppose are rather relevant, they all play a big part in everyone's life. People are always growing up, but they can never be truly free. If you think about it, everyone will always be bound by some form of constraint- whether that's for an internal or external reason is besides the point.
The UK is meant to be a liberal democracy...what a load- nowadays we can't do anything without being watched, CCTV, ID tags, DNA databases. The government will say it's for our own protection, and to some extent I can agree with that, but is the sacrifice worth it? Day in , day out, we're being watched by someone, the only place we can know we're safe is in our own homes, and how long will that guarantee last? I'm glad that the government say they have out safety at heart, but there's something inside of me which doubts their intentions, for all we know they could always have a bigger plan. Then, I think- isn't it sad that the world and the people in it have become so immoral that we need to put all of these intrusions in place just so we can walk down the street feeling secure in the fact that if we do get attacked, there would probably- but still not definitely- be justice. What happened to the good old days?
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